Dear Expectant Parent,
We can only guess that you never expected to find yourself reading a letter like this. We can’t even begin to imagine the emotions you are feeling and what you are going through. We hope that this letter will help you to get to know us and decide if we are the right future family for your precious baby. Our discussion about adoption started before we were even married. Ryan’s youngest sister was adopted and it has always been part of his family plan. Christy loved the idea and was on board immediately. We have also both traveled to Haiti to help construct an orphanage. We’ve had our biological children and now we are excited to welcome more through adoption.
In hopes of helping you to get to know us, here is a little about us. We both come from large families and family is important to us. We see our parents and siblings often and get along well with all of them.
We are active in our church, and God is an important part of our lives. Education is also important to us and we will do whatever we can to help our children achieve their best, whatever that may be. We enjoy spending time together and having fun, which includes taking regular mini-vacations.
A little about Ryan:
What first attracted me to Ryan was that he was easy to be with and to talk to. He is fun loving, hard working, energetic and playful. We never have to worry about making ends meet because Ryan is focused and hard working and will always find work or make work, no matter what. Although he has a successful career, he is an entrepreneur at heart. He has started several businesses, but his passion is the bike shop (as in mountain bikes and road bikes) and everything related to it. He loves to ride and we have made many cherished family memories riding together with our kids.
Ryan is the planner of “fun” in our family. He loves to have fun and take trips and play as a family. As the big brother and oldest of seven kids, he has no problem taking the lead. He is close to his family and extended family as well, and we get together regularly for Sunday family dinners.
Did I mention he likes chocolate? He likes anything chocolate. But he does not like strawberries. I mean, who doesn’t like strawberries?!
A little about Christy:
Christy grew up in West Virginia, with four sisters and one brother. She continues to be close to her family, despite having long distances between some of them at times. She loves to cook and is especially a sucker for fancy desserts and sourdough bread. And trying new recipes.
Christy has a degree in Illustration (think children’s books) and does occasional graphic design work. She loves to create and make things. She starts planning our kids’ Halloween costumes in July, or sometimes February. Not even kidding. She loves being a mom and doing crafts with the kids.
She believes in good manners and good grammar, but math is her weakness (thank goodness it’s Ryan’s strength). She used to be really shy but overcame that by moving across the country to go to college and moving across the world to be a missionary in Brazil for a time. Christy loves making new friends and is always there for people when they need her.
A little about Ava:
Ava was born at three and a half pounds, and came out a fighter. She was strong from the start and we knew that would be a defining characteristic. She is very creative and loves to draw and paint and write stories and do anything visual. She wants to learn to sew and play the piano as well. She is a great soccer player and intelligent student and is becoming increasingly adventurous. She is helpful and kind, hilarious at times, and full of life. She loves to have fun, but then, most kids do!
A little about Ezra:
Ezra was born with a white patch of hair on the top of his head, which we now tenderly refer to as his “angel hair.” Ezra passed away at four years old, but he crammed a lot of life into those four years. He started riding a bike when he was one (yes, one!) and started doing kids’ mountain bike races a week after he turned two. And he was incredible! Besides biking, he loved playing in the sandbox and playing in any amount of water he could get his hands on (a cup, a sink, a hose…). He was a big time hugger and often said “I love you” at any time of day. We feel his early passing was truly God’s plan for him and have felt more peace than we ever thought possible, despite missing him tremendously.
A little about Ruby:
Ruby is two and is a joy to have. She loves puppies, baby dolls, snuggles, school buses, princesses, and singing in the car. Her favorite color is orange. She likes to wear dresses and skirts (so she can look like a princess). Ava was never very interested in princesses, so it’s fun to see how each child comes with their own personality and interests.
We believe that as parents (adoptive or biological), these little ones are God’s children and should all be treated as such. It doesn’t matter how they come to us, we will care for them as the special and precious individuals they are. We will do our best to teach them to be kind, loving, honest, good people, while having fun and working hard along the way. We believe that love is a more powerful teacher than anger. We will make sure your/our child knows what a courageous decision his or her birth parents made.
Our thoughts on what type of relationship we would like to have with our child’s birthparents are that it’s hard to declare a position one way or another without knowing the birth mother yet. An open relationship would be wonderful if it works. But if a birth mother isn’t ready for that, we don’t want to force anything. And it seems that it will depend to some degree on what the dynamics are between our family and yours (of course we hope for the best!), so we don’t feel like we can promise one thing or another without knowing more about all of us together. What we really want is whatever relationship will be best and healthiest for our adopted child.